Higher

I was going through one of my old journals the other day and came across an entry that I had forgotten about. My initial response was, "What kind of high was I on when I wrote this?" Even though it was less than a year ago, I feel so far removed from that season of my life. I guess you could say that I've taken a tumble down from the proverbial mountain top into the valley of the shadow of death. So, here I sit wistfully looking up to the heights from which I've fallen, bewildered at the circumstances I find myself in and fiercely wishing I could be back in that place of trust once again. And so I write this as an imperative to myself as I start the long trek back up the mountainside...

"Higher...I hear the faint whisper of my Lord calling me to come up higher. How easy it is to be overcome by the here and now
circumstances that weigh me down, slow me up, and keep me distracted from
the better part. If I would only listen more closely, He's always
calling, and in heeding to His call to rise up, I will be shaken from this
stupor of self-absorption and pity. Where is He calling me to? He's calling
me to come and see from His perspective, for His ways are so much higher than my own. In the midst of any circumstance my vision is limited, fallible and dim.
But, when I arise and go to meet Him, the eyes of my heart are opened and
my sight is consumed by His greatness as He draws near. Whatever circumstance I have left behind no longer remains the focus, but as the author and perfector of
my faith captures my gaze, this is where I am changed. We become what we behold and I no longer want to be consumed with my sorrow or wrapped up in my doubt. I am desperate for the Lover of my soul to consume my very
being. It's in this place of rising above that He applies the healing balm
of Gilead to my broken heart that has been bruised and wounded by the very
circumstances that I so desperately hold onto. He calls me higher, not to
disregard my brokenness, but to make me whole in Him. Listen beloved,
consider and incline your ear, listen to His gentle call...Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away...O my dove, in the clefts of the Rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your
face is lovely."