The Quest

God is so much bigger than I, to my own detriment, give Him credit for. I've been reading "The Quest for the Radical Middle" by Bill Johnson, which is an intriguing history of the Vineyard Movement. It has spurred a lot of soul searching in my own life. These are just a few of the questions that I have been wrestling with over the past week:

• What do I believe about healing?
• Have I settled with just merely believing in the gifts of the Spirit for today instead of ardently seeking them out?
• Do I take the holiness of God seriously, or have I grown accustomed to presuming upon His grace without any real change?
• Do I want comfort, stability, and the acceptance of man more than I want the power of God in my life?

If what I am reading in this book is true, why do I live a life so far below the standard of exceeding greatness that freely belongs to each and every believer? I know that there is so much more that God has for my life if only I am willing to deny myself (offending my flesh), pick up my cross (offending the world), and follow Him (pleasing His heart).

There is a quote from the book that cut deeply into my heart, revealing what I believe is the passionate desire of God to awaken and prepare His slumbering bride - "God is in the business of offending the mind to expose the heart." Purity of heart is so often discarded in order to preserve the stubborness of our minds - we insist that our way is the right way, elevating ourselves in spiritual pride at the expense of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Not only that, we (the Church) are so far from understanding that our selfish and prideful interactions with one another explicitly go against the very words of Jesus in John 17 - "May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." The way we interact with one another impacts the way the world thinks about God, and yet so often we insist on winning petty arguments in order to validate what we believe is right.

The patience of God is so amazing. If I were in His place I probably would have blown the world up by now and started all over. However, He is way more gracious than I, willing to go to great lengths to expose the motivations of our hearts in order draw us closer to Him, bringing glory to His name.

I had no idea what I was in for when I started the "Quest". Sometimes I think that God likes to catch us off-guard!