Trust

I usually like to think that I am a trusting person, but when a situation comes my way where I find myself having to take a step in pitch black darkness, not really sure where my foot will land, the reality of my trusting nature, or lack thereof, is made painfully clear. It's comforting to at least know the general direction in which one is heading. I remember in college playing a game where certain people were blindfolded and the people who weren't had to direct those who were blind from point A to point B using spoken commands like "right," "left," or "straight ahead." Those who had to trust their guide with each step moved very cautiously with hands stretched out front in fear of running into something they couldn't see. It's very obvious that this blind trust does not come easily and yet it's this very kind of trust that God calls us to. Do I really fear no evil when walking in darkness through the valley of the shadow of death? If I had my own torch to light the way, of course I would not fear. But God does not call us to guide and protect ourselves. He provides His rod and staff to guide us along the way. The difficult part, for me at least, is learning to find comfort in the way He chooses to lead. I am finding that I don't naturally find His rod and staff comforting in the midst of darkness. More often than not, I think I fight against Him trying to find my own way through the valley, and then He has to go leave the other 99 sheep to rescue me once again. To trust Him is to understand my utter depravity and my inability to safely go anywhere on my own.

"There is way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death" - Proverbs 14:12

Does anyone know what day it is?

It's been a rather odd phenomenon for me to be completely oblivious to time. Over the past few weeks, I feel like I am constantly looking at the calendar to see what the date is...just today within a 30 minute period, I had to look 3 different times because I kept on forgetting. Before I sat down at my computer tonight, I thought it had to be at least midnight, so imagine my surprise when it was only a little after 10pm! I'm usually very conscious of both date and time, so it just feels weird not to be driven by those elements anymore. With my old job, I always knew what day it was in conjunction with the end of the payperiod and month end. My whole life seemed to be caught up in this speeding whirlwind of a revolving door...by the time the monthend process had come to an end, we were already into the first week of the month with only 3 more weeks left until the same process would begin again. On a smaller scale, every other Friday was the end of the payperiod. It was pertinent for me to remain on top of certain responsibilities in order to transmit payroll on time, which some weeks seemed to be a horrific feat...and then the process would start all over again. Before I knew it, payroll transmittal day was knocking at my door. I'm not really sure why I'm going on and on about this, it's kind of pointless...I guess if anything, I am just relieved to be out of the revolving door of the accounting world. Next week is the end of August and I don't have a care in the world - the world of accounting that is!

Small Town Folks

A couple of times this week, a few different people have made some observations about small town folks. Today, these observations were reinforced. It has been said, to me anyways, that people living in small towns can't see beyond their own nose (not in those exact words, but pretty close). I don't mean to bash small town folks. I'm sure that a large part of this is a result of their environment. They talk about what they know, and struggle to see anything outside their realm of knowledge. Now, I'm sure that not every person living in a small town is like this, but this has been my experience recently. The thing that makes me really sad is when this begins to seep into the church. I know that I was once like this - not able to perceive anything outside of my immediate experience. This is why I am so thankful for my time spent in the House of Prayer. We prayed for the complete body of Christ, not just the church or denomination that we aligned ourselves with. My eyes were opened to see that the body of Christ was so much larger and just as valuable as the Assemblies of God (my personal experience). Today I had a conversation with a few ladies who made judgements on a particular missions organization based on how close this ministry aligns itself to the A/G. It seemed that the denominational affiliation of the ministry and whether or not they taught about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit was more important than the fact that this ministry has a heart to see the kingdom of God spread throughout the world. To me, this was very unnerving. My skin was literally crawling as I tried to figure out how I could somehow change the subject. God does not live in the box of our denominations or doctrinal beliefs. His thoughts are so much higher than ours. This challenges me to examine my own heart to see how I may have somehow tried to shove God into a box to serve my own agendas. I do pray that God would give us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to see Him as He truly is, not just how we perceive Him to be based on our experience.

Just one more thing...

I just have to say that I am loving my job at Bethany. I can't remember the last time my job has inspired me the way that I've been inspired over the past week. It's like a faucet has been turned on and there is this constant internal flowing of thoughts and ideas in my head. I think for so long I felt such a lack of purpose in my life, and it feels as if I've finally been pointed in the right direction and now I'm off to follow the yellow brick road...except what lies at the end of this road is far greater than the Emerald City and the One that I am seeking cannot even be compared to the Wizard of Oz. Despite all the troubles and dangers that may lie ahead, I know that I will not be disappointed.

Just when you least expect it...

...God blesses your socks off! Tonight, my friend Jen and I had the incredible privilege of praying for a beautiful woman named Maria. For the last 10 years, Maria has been living in Amsterdam and recently came back to the states to be with her family because of some serious health issues. Her brother, who lives here in Minneapolis, somehow found our church and called our pastor to ask if we would be willing to come and agree with Maria for God's healing in her body. She has no support system here in the Twin Cities other than her immediate family, and just the fact that Bluer was chosen to come along side her in prayer is so amazing to me. Out of all the churches in the area, we have been given this opportunity to bless this family, and yet in so many ways I am convinced that God has placed this situation before us to bless us and remind us that He has not forgotten us, that He desires to use us for His glory, and that He has an amazing plan and purpose for our church. It is a beautiful thing to be so intricately connected to believers all around the world because of the love we share for Jesus. I am truly blessed by this encounter with Maria.

"How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity...for there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore."
Psalm 133:1, 3

My How Time Flies...

The past several weeks have been jam packed with change! Between packing and moving, ending one job, overseeing the Bluer Garage Sale, taking a quick camping trip and starting a new job, I've been a little busy...hence the blog silence. Here's a quick overview of the past few weeks:

Moving...
Heather and I moved to South Minneapolis the last weekend of July. At the very same time, Bluer, moved to a new location - Calvary Church on Blaisdell and 26th. Between the two moves, there was a lot of packing, cleaning, moving, unpacking, etc. My room is still a disaster area, but the rest of the house is starting to look good. We will have to have a house warming party sometime soon.

No More Accounting...
As of August 4th, I am officially done with accounting (at least for the Embassy Suites). The last three weeks were nearly torture. My trip to the Boundary Waters completely did away with any remaining motivation to work. It still hasn't completely sunk in that I am done with that job. It almost feels like I'm on a vacation. I'm sure that will soon change!

Bluer Garage Sale...
Early mornings, hot weather, organizing junk, oh I mean "stuff" - that pretty much sums up the garage sale. We walked away with a few hundred dollars to donate to the church, plus less junk/stuff, so it was worth it! Thanks to Patsy, Jessica and Kari for all your help!

Camping...
I decided at the end of July that I wanted to take a camping trip before I started my new job. I was practically obsessed with REI Outlet and the Department of Natural Resources website for a couple weeks. You can ask Heather - every time she came home, she would say, "Are you on REI.com again?" or "Are you looking for campsites now?" For some reason, I just had to go camping. I spent this past weekend up on the North Shore at Split Rock Lighthouse State Park. I had to hike 1.4 miles to my campsite, which involved about 6 flights of stairs that kicked my butt! I have decided that camping in the regular campground will be just fine next time. I must say though, that my campsite was beautiful. I had at least 600 feet of shoreline all to myself. I didn't see anyone out my way the whole entire trip. I would share pictures, but when I got my camera out the first night, I discovered that my batteries were dead. I was severely disappointed! Overall, I would say it was a good trip.

Hello Bethany...
I started my new job yesterday. I am the executive assistant for the CEO of Bethany Press International. I am quickly learning that I am entering a world of acronyms - BPI, BCOM, BI, BMI, L-Team, M-Team, OPT, TA, and the list could go on. I think that I am really going to like this job. I know that every workplace has it's ups and downs, but I just can't get over the fact that I am working for an organization that is focused on advancing the Kingdom of God. It feels a little surreal, kind of like the feeling I first had at Central Bible College...I was absolutely enamored with the fact that I had the privilege to sit and learn about God all day long. It just seemed too good to be true.
I am already making great contacts with people. I met one guy who spent 9 months in Bangladesh just this past year, as well as another person whose family does missions work in Bangladesh. There is a possibility that I could join her family members on a trip there this winter. I count it a blessing to be surrounded by people with a heart for missions. I would say that this is definitely a step in the right direction for my future goals.

God is good. He has been faithful to open incredible doors, and to sustain and strenghten me during this time of transition. I couldn't imagine living without Him!