There's a first time for everything...

Today I was pulled over for speeding on my way to work. For the first time in my life, I received a ticket for a traffic violation. I figured it was bound to happen sooner or later, but I was not expecting it to happen on my way to work! I've had friends tell me that if you start crying, there's a good chance that the cop will feel bad and let you off with a warning, but I'm not the type of person who can cry at the drop of a hat. If I tried, it would probably look fake and then he would give me a ticket for sure! Then, my boss told me today that if you're honest and admit that you were totally in the wrong, they'll let you off the hook. I tried to do that, but it didn't really work. I think he thought I was telling him to hurry up because I was late for work. The cop was really nice though. When he handed me the ticket, it almost seemed as if he was apologizing for having to give it to me. One thing I know for sure, I'm going to stick to the main roads from now on!

Abiding in Love

"Abide in My love..." This is the word that the Lord is speaking to my heart. To be found in Him, nourishing my heart, being rooted and built up in His love for me. Absolutely nothing on earth can compare to this knowledge of an intimate relationship with the Lover of my soul. Nothing can fill me or bring satisfaction to my soul the way that Jesus can...and I have yet to experience the great depths of all He has for me.

I am learning that the key to going deeper is to forget all that is behind. I cannot live in the past, I cannot hold onto that which has already come and gone - be it good or bad. I must press on towards that which lies ahead, setting my heart to lay hold of the unsearchable riches of Christ Jesus. Now I must remember all that God has done for me, and all that He has taught me, for it would be foolishness to bury these nuggets of truth in the sea of forgetfulness. What I am trying to convey is that this forgetting speaks of a necessity to abide or remain in Christ in order to encounter Him in the present, not depending on yesterday's encounter to somehow suffice. This is a difficult lesson to learn! It seems that it is second-nature for me to want yesterday's experience to somehow propel me forward into a deeper experience tomorrow. And yet somehow, I have a feeling that it does not work that way. Yesterday is gone and today I must abide in Him, trusting that He will enlarge my heart to receive more and more of His love for me.

In John 6, Jesus declares that He is the true Manna sent from heaven. He has come to give us abundant life, to nourish and feed our hearts. In Exodus 16, the Israelites were instructed to take only what was needed for each day, and no more. Those who tried to eat yesterday's manna found out how quickly it spoiled. I believe there is a deep spiritual truth here. The true Bread of heaven gives us exactly what we need each day if we will come and learn of Him.

I am also beginning to see that abiding is simply being with Jesus. I cannot measure the growth of my heart by my striving - striving will get me nowhere except amidst the company of shame and condemnation, for I can never earn merit with God by my works. Abiding is an attitude of the heart, an active waiting upon God. It is simply saying "Yes, I will set my heart before you! I will fix my gaze upon You. I will draw near Your heart." And it is in this positioning of myself before the Lord that I am changed. It is here that He strengthens my heart. It is here that He acts on my behalf. It is here that I begin to reflect His glory, for we truly become that which we behold.

Bangladesh Photos

I pulled out my pictures from Bangladesh today and thought I would share some of my favorites. I was a little worried about the quality because I had to scan them onto my computer, but I think they turned out pretty good.














This is a picture of a woman cleaning rice out on the dirty street.
















Coming down the stairs of the Parliament building one day, we heard this beautiful music coming magically out of nowhere. Once we reached the bottom and turned the corner, we saw this babytaxi driver playing the flute while waiting for a customer.

















This was taken in Kuhlna (the third largest city in Bangladesh).
















The first weekend I was in Bangladesh, we went to the village of Bolovpur to conduct a children's camp. I have a few pictures of this girl (yes, it is a girl) and this turned out to be one of my most favorite pictures. She has the most beautiful smile!






















And finally, my favorite picture of the entire trip. This was actually taken out of pure annoyance more than anything. While in Khulna, we were visiting the homes of women benefiting from the Community Development Project. This group of boys were following us very closely asking for their picture to be taken. Several pictures later, they were still calling out asking for more. A digital camera would have come in handy! Having a film camera, I was leary of taking another shot because I didn't want to waste anymore film. Finally, I turned around, snapped the shot, and told them no more. And it turned out to be the best one out of the lot!

Me with blonde hair!

Here's a visual for those of you who can't quite picture me with blonde hair!

This picture was taken with my friend Moshumi at the student center where I taught English in Dhaka. This was my last night with all of the students just a few short days before I left the country. We had a cultural night where the students could sign up to read poetry, sing, play instruments, etc. I was in a short skit with some of my students that turned out to be quite the disaster. One of the students had written a script and I had to memorize my lines in Bengali. I really had no idea what I was saying (which could have been dangerous), but at least I knew my lines. The night of the party, I found out that the manager of the student center had rejected the script because he thought some of the content was too controversial. I was a little disappointed, but okay with his decision. I figured that we weren't going to perform anymore since our script was rejected, but I was wrong. The students wanted to do an improvised skit instead. For anyone who knows me at all, I am not one to get up in front of people and improvise. I was absolutely mortified. I tried to explain to the students that I had no idea what to say, but they kept telling me it would be okay. It was easily the worst performance of the evening. Because of the language barrier, we weren't completely understanding eachother which led to some very awkward moments, but we managed to struggle through it. Everyone complemented us on our skit, but I think they were just trying to be polite!

Here's another picture of my 22nd birthday. It was fun to look through all my photo albums again!

I Love St. Paul! (and I'm talking about the city, not the saint)

Tonight I spent the evening in my old stomping ground. I drove past the house Heather and I used to live in, went to the House of Prayer and topped off the evening by stopping at my absolute all-time favorite coffee shop. It brought back so many fond memories. For a moment, I was so caught up in the nostalgia that I wished we hadn't moved. Then the reality of a 1 hour commute to Bloomington and $200 gas/electric bills set in and I was very thankful for the place where I now live.

At the coffee shop they posted a sign that made me chuckle, so I thought I would share:

"All unattended children will receive an espresso and a free puppy!"

Like coffee, the quaint feel of St. Paul makes me happy!

Blog Tag 2

Well, I've been tagged twice...Here goes - 5 things most people don't know about me (even though I was tagged twice I'm sticking to the original 5):

1. I used to have blonde hair up until 4 years ago (I think there are only a few people who read my blog who knew me back then.)

2. I wear glasses...I mean, I should wear glasses. My right eye is severely far-sighted which means that my left eye does most of the work. I can see clearly (thanks to that left eye), so it really doesn't feel like I need to wear glasses or contacts, more like I would be wearing them for decoration.

3. I am deathly afraid of German Shepards. I was attacked by one in the 7th grade while going door to door handing out flyers for a church plant in Orono.

4. When we lived in Colorado, my siblings and I would stay up late on Saturday nights to watch WWF wrestling.

5. I received a marriage offer while I was in Bangladesh. I had forgotten all about this until just recently. I read about this in the journal I kept while I was there. A pastor from a city in the southern part of the country had come to Dhaka for a conference. The day before he left he approached the missionaries I was working with to inquire whether or not I was spoken for. He then asked if I would be interested in an arranged marriage. The missionaries had a ball with this one!