Loving and Losing

I am going to Willmar (where I grew up) for the first time since my friend Marian passed away in March. Over the past few days, I've been trying to prepare myself for the trip knowing that the reality of her homegoing will more than likely hit me like a ton of bricks. In the past, it was a given that when I was in town a visit to her humble home was a high priority on my list of things to do. We would usually share a meal together (almost always chicken curry) and then spend the rest of our time catching up on eachother's lives, taking a stroll around the neighborhood in the summer, reading an excerpt either from the Message or a devotional book of A.W. Tozer's writings, occasionally watching a Gaither video, and never without fail ending our time in prayer. Now, as I am returning to pack up the last of the belongings that she left for me, the incredible loss of this special friendship is really sinking in. No longer will there be any special meals shared between the two of us, no more words of wisdom to be imparted, no more times of approaching the throne of grace together. I guess I was never really ready for the day that Marian would go Home. Like an innocent child, I thought she would be here forever. Losing those you love really sucks, but having the chance to love in the first place is worth the loss. I have no doubt that my life is incredibly richer because of loving and being loved by Marian. I am reminded of this quote by C.S. Lewis that has had a profound impact on my life:

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, imprenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell."

I am learning the truth that to love and experience loss is far better than to have not loved at all.

Paying by Fingerprint

I read this article on biometric payment systems in the Star Tribune today at lunch...It kind of hits home when they're testing it out right here in the Twin Cities. I guess for me it's a reality check that we really are getting closer to the End Times.

Thinking Out Loud...

Someone told me today that familiarity is the breeding ground for intimacy. When I think of the word familiarity I think of the Cheers theme song - "Sometimes you want to go, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same, You wanna be where everybody knows your name." I believe there is an intrinsic desire in every human being to know and to be known...to fit in somewhere in which one can feel the comfort and safety of the familiar. Yet, when thinking about the word intimacy, most people have the tendency to shrink back at the very mention of the word. The best I can figure is that we want familiarity enough to feel safe, but not to the extent where others can see right through us, which is intimacy. I find it interesting that the very thing that we find comfort and safety in (familiarity) serves as the breeding ground for that which is most often seen as, in a sense, dangerous and uncomfortable (intimacy).

As I was driving home, I started wondering if this applies to my relationship with God. I hear people say that God has become too familiar to us, that we have brought Him down to our level, so much that we no longer hold a reverent, holy fear of our Creator. I understand that line of thinking, and yet I can't help but believe that the more familiar I become with God, His character and nature, and the more that I am real with Him, not just parading around what I think are my best attributes in order to gain His approval, the closer I will grow with Him in relationship.

Just thinking out loud...

Divine Dogs

I was shopping with my friend Shelley this afternoon and while browsing in an eclectic little shop we ran across the cutest book of "portraits of divine dogs" with a very clever title - Cat Spelled Backwards Doesn't Spell God.

Book Description
Who trembles for you when you are sad, hangs his head when you are mad, and drools on you as if you were the most beautiful, brilliant, and tremendously fragrant of them all? A cat? No, a dog. With all due apology to the cats out there, the title of this book could not be more accurate. Dogs are the most loyal of friends, the most indiscriminate of companions, and the only ones who will always adore you--even when you're bad. The dogs featured here range from an Irish Wolfhound named Brennain, who opposes war, fleas, and pills, to a pug puppy named Sydney whose only dislike is reading the daily newspaper--so she poops on it instead. Author Jeff Selis's tribute to our slobbery, four-legged friends urges us to follow their lead for awhile and stop thinking about traffic jams and cloudy days and alarm clocks, and instead take time to smell the flowers, the trees... the cute terrier down the street. This book of canine portraits will bring a smile even to those feline types who bitterly wish that T-A-C spelled GOD.

People

It's so much easier to see God in people when you like them...

This past Saturday I spoke at Bluer and the main gist of the message was finding God in those who bear His image, which according to Genesis 1:26 anyone who calls himself a human being bears the image of God. And of course, in the wake of delivering this message, what I do versus what I say is being put to the test. It's pretty effortless to see God in the really nice people that are easy to get along with, who are undemanding and kind in heart. Those, on the other hand, who do not fit that description, make the second greatest commandment (loving others as yourself) a challenging task. It's humbling to have to weed through all the nasty junk that naturally flows out of our fallenness in order to see the beauty of God that is inherent in His creation. Sometimes I selfishly want to write certain people off as being complete idiots who are not worthy of my time or affection, but I know that goes against the very nature of God. After all, He voluntarily looks past all of my garbage and takes great delight in who He has created me to be. Shouldn't I be willing to extend this same grace to others? In theory it sounds completely doable, but in practice my flesh cringes at the thought of having to die to itself in order to esteem others as better than myself. In the Gospel of John, right after Jesus washes the disciples feet, he gives them the command to perform this humbling task for one another and then he tops it all off by saying, "Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master." I remember the first time I actually understood what Jesus was saying here. It's quite a loaded comment if you really think about it. Every time I refuse to do for others what Christ has done for me, I am considering myself greater than Him - not something I would ever purposely think, but more times than not, my thoughts and actions betray my supposed humility. I am desperately praying that God would give me supernatural eyes to see what cannot be seen in the natural.

Links 2

I figured it out!!! Apparently I shouldn't have been typing "www" in the URL address. Now I can go take a nap!

Links

I have attempted to add some links to my blog - and I was getting bored with the template, so I changed that too. Anyways, I have been following the blogger instructions on how to add links to the template, and I'm getting really frustrated because it's not working for me!!! Mark would say that it's a user error, but I swear that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. It's really beyond me how anyone can understand all this code. It's like a foreign language. This is really going to bug me until I can figure it out, and I will figure it out!

Drooling Cats

So, I'm sitting here at the computer trying read some blogs with a purring cat on my lap, who also happens to be drooling all over the keyboard. I think it's kind of funny that this cat drools buckets when you pet her. I usually associate drooling with babies and dogs and people sleeping on airplanes with their mouths open. I've never considered myself to be a cat person - in fact I always thought I didn't like cats, but that's probably because my parents don't like cats, so I just assumed that I didn't like them either. The last few days, I've been house/cat sitting for a friend, and I've discovered that cats aren't really that bad. Now, I have run across my fair share of cats who I am convinced are the spawn of satan, but the two cats I've been hanging out with have redeemed my preconceived ideas that all cats are that way. I don't necessarily think that I'll be rushing out anytime soon to get a cat myself, but I am much more fond of the feline species now that I've had a chance to bond with a few of them. If I ever did decide to get a cat, I would probably have to stop wearing black as much as I do, because I've learned that cats and black clothing don't really mix - especially black fleece!